First Panic Attack since Quitting

I had them in high school and some in college… and I don’t think I’ve had but maybe a handful since. I’m not medicated for anxiety…. even in high school, medication was not seen as the answer. My anxiety was seen as a weakness, something to be prayed away.

The thoughts came like a flood… What if I can’t find a new job? What if my savings runs dry? What if I spend ALL my savings while job hunting? What if I lose my friends, my family when my views become known?

Most of these thoughts are ridiculous, but in true form, anxiety and panic attacks don’t really care if you have ridiculous thoughts. Your body just reacts. Soon your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating, and you feel like you can’t breathe. It’s debilitating. For me, this is usually followed by being ridiculously tired… but I can’t sleep because, you know… see above.

Oy.

I AM OKAY. I’ll just keep telling myself that.

In the meantime… back to job hunting. Anyone looking for someone with 10+ years of ministry and teaching experience? 😛

56 days to *some* freedom… 56 days to no paycheck.

4 thoughts on “First Panic Attack since Quitting

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  1. Your blog is really interesting and I really like hearing your point of view. I think as you have written more I have seen a world that I am pretty far removed from. I am starting a podcast where I talk to people who I find interesting and most importantly whose stories shed light on parts of the world i have little knowledge of. If you’d be interested Id love to have a Pod chat with you. Let me know and we can exchange details.

    And apologies for taking the spotlight from this post. I think it must be an scary thing, but incredibly brave at the same time. Really looking forward to the good news about your future career.

    Like

    1. Actually, I’d welcome the opportunity to chat. There’s a lot bottled up right now, and it might be nice to get some of it out in an explanation of sorts. I live on podcasts right now because they tend to help. I’m not sure the best way to go about sharing details since I’m still sort of in the closet. 😛

      Like

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